When Intelligence Became a Curse: The Untold Wounds of Childhood Bullying

Elton March

Bullying is often dismissed as “just part of growing up,” but research shows that its effects can linger far beyond school years, shaping mental health, self-esteem, and even social and physical well-being well into adulthood. Studies across the world demonstrate that children who are bullied—or even those who bully others—carry scars into their adult lives, affecting their confidence, body image, and decision-making (Sigurdson, Undheim, Wallander, Lydersen, & Sund, 2015; Takizawa, Maughan, & Arseneault, 2014; Copeland, Wolke, Angold, & Costello, 2014). For me, this research resonates deeply because I lived it.

This is where my story begins. I was born partly a gifted child, with intelligence above the average. As a kid, I could reason, question, and analyze beyond my level. At school, I consistently ranked at the top of my class, wherever I went—from Standard 1 through Form 4. Due to my father’s work, I attended several primary schools in Malawi: St. Kizito Boys Primary School in Limbe, Nyungwe Primary, Malimba, Ndungunya, and finally Mwanga Primary Schools in Phalombe.

I was my father’s walking stick, being his only son. From a young age, he shared his “big” stories with me, reasoned with me, and took me on trips that my sisters didn’t go on. In Standard 6 at St. Kizito Primary School, after the first term, my father was transferred to Phalombe, commonly known as “4 Ways.” During this time, the Phalombe-Chiradzulu-Migowi road was under construction, and my father worked at the construction camp.

I first enrolled at Ndungunya Primary School, then a month later at Mwanga Primary School because we moved for better housing. I had an incredible team of friends, bonded over our perceived intelligence. The teacher was very fast and ahead of the curriculum, and I managed to rank number 2 at the end of the second term, even though I had joined mid-term.

Then suddenly, my father was transferred back to Blantyre, meaning I returned to the same class I had left at St. Kizito Boys Primary School in the third term. Because my previous teacher in Phalombe had already advanced me, I could answer many questions in class. One day, the teacher asked me where I had been learning. I said, “Phalombe.” I wish I hadn’t said that. That’s how the bullying began.

I was hated for being a better student, for knowing more than others. A group of students started calling me “Phalombe,” even though they knew my real name. They came from wealthy families—you could tell from their shoes, uniforms, and the money they spent during breaks. They were friends with some teachers who sold groceries and cooked foods at school. I thought the bullying would end after Standard 6, but it didn’t. As I continued performing well in Standard 7, their hatred only grew. Being from the same town made it worse; if I was unlucky, they could bully me at school and all the way home.

The bullying escalated from teasing my intelligence to body shaming. I was born with large calf muscles, inherited from my father. In government primary schools in Malawi, the uniform included shorts, so my calves were always exposed. I never had issues with them until this group started mocking me, saying I had calves strong enough to push an aircraft (“Katumba ngati okankha ndege”). In Malawi, it’s common for cars to need pushing to start, but comparing my calves to those needed to push an aircraft was meant to demean me.

I started feeling out of place in my own school and uncomfortable with my body. I questioned everything: my skin, height, and calves. At one point, I bought shorts that went below the knees to cover my calves, but this was unacceptable at school. What had once been a source of pride became a source of shame.

I eventually transferred schools and wrote my Standard 8 exams at Nyungwe Primary School, against my parents’ wishes. Luckily, I was selected for secondary school. From that point on, I never wore shorts throughout secondary school or at university, choosing long pants even during sports.

My story is not unique. Research has shown that childhood bullying has lasting effects. Sigurdson et al. (2015) found that victims of adolescent bullying were more likely to suffer from depression and internalizing symptoms in adulthood. Takizawa, Maughan, and Arseneault (2014) reported that victims had poorer socioeconomic outcomes and lower life satisfaction decades later. Even biological markers of stress, like inflammation, can persist into adulthood, demonstrating that the impact of bullying goes beyond the psychological realm (Copeland et al., 2014). My experience aligns with these findings: the teasing, exclusion, and shame I endured as a child created patterns of self-doubt and avoidance that lasted for years.

The bullying and body shaming affected my self-perception and decisions for many years. Thankfully, today, I am learning to embrace those scars, both visible and invisible. Wearing shorts in public, proudly showing my calves, is a small but powerful act of reclaiming what was once a source of shame in recent years, I have begun to embrace my calves, no longer treating them with shame or regret. Sharing my story is also an act of solidarity with others who have suffered silently: childhood bullying leaves deep, lasting impacts, but healing and self-acceptance are possible. By acknowledging these experiences and understanding the science behind their effects, we can create communities—both in schools and beyond—that foster respect, empathy, and resilience.

References
Copeland, W. E., Wolke, D., Angold, A., & Costello, E. J. (2014). Adult psychiatric outcomes of bullying and being bullied by peers in childhood and adolescence. JAMA Psychiatry, 71(6), 677–685. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.163

Matthews, K. A., Jennings, J. R., Lee, L., & Pardini, D. A. (2017). Bullying and being bullied in childhood are associated with different psychosocial risk factors for poor physical health in men. Psychological Science, 28(6), 808–821. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617697700

Sigurdson, J. F., Undheim, A. M., Wallander, J. L., Lydersen, S., & Sund, A. M. (2015). The long-term effects of being bullied or a bully in adolescence on externalizing and internalizing mental health problems in adulthood. Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health, 9, 42. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13034-015-0075-2

Takizawa, R., Maughan, B., & Arseneault, L. (2014). Adult health outcomes of childhood bullying victimisation: Evidence from a five-decade longitudinal British birth cohort. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(7), 777–784. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.13101401

Japanese Life Course Panel Study. (2024). Bullying experiences in childhood and health outcomes in adulthood. Japanese Life Course Panel Surveys (Waves 1–14). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39008467/